Okay, so as I was reading about TweedleDee and TweedleDum, a couple of things came to mind. First off – they are their own little “both+and,” no? You don’t get one without the other — both one in the same and yet so distinct, the two of them looking at each other straight in the face, only as if a mirror was between them, with such distinction settled with the two tiny letters “EE” or “UM.”
It is here that I shake my head at my own obnoxious “EE” and “UM”:
There are some nights where I feel I hardly sleep deeply. Grabbing hold of maybe an hour or so before my body alerts me to the pain it feels so that I can move and shift for the next one. While the sleep may not be sound and I “wake up” feeling un-rested, my pain in the day is relatively tolerable since I moved so much throughout the night.
And then there are nights where I sleep so deeply that I close my eyes and the next thing I know it’s morning. The sleep – divine, the rest – refreshing but because I wasn’t shifting and adjusting my body as I slept, I wake up feeling like a Mac truck ran right through me. The pain in the day – almost intolerable, the slog of being – noticeably tthhiicckk.
So…. The “EE”?
Or the “UM”?
Quite a nonsensical…stupid and senseless…both+and.
The Last Few Days :: May 26, 2018
I wonder if acupuncture “wears off”… I kind of remember the last round being similar to this where the last few days before the next chemo infusion and next acupuncture are just dreadful….I started not feeling too well yesterday just before lunch and continued to feel awful all night and then today was much the same. Blech. Super nauseous, lightheaded and emotional. I guess I’ll pay attention to this toward the end of this next round to see if it’s a pattern. And if it is, I’ll really really think it’s that acupuncture can “wear off”… And I’ll also be extra extra grateful for dear Joelle, my amazing acupuncturist.
On that note, I’m going to bed because I feel terrible. Stupid cancer.
(Oh, and I watched videos of a DIEP Flap Breast Reconstruction today. Good gracious, science is amazing….but whoa.) ….and one last thing, I gave myself a manicure today for the first time in months! It feels so good to have color on my nails again! Oh the little celebrations among the crap…
NOW I’m going to bed.
be. :: May 26, 2019
Well, good sleep didn’t happen last night. I hurt so bad that it kept me up pretty much all night…I felt like I had to reposition myself like every 30 seconds just to get some relief and very little came my way. Today was a bit better, though, so that was welcomed.
On another note, I was sitting here in bed and I crossed my arms and my tattoo “be.” caught my eye.
Be grateful. Be joyful. Be present. Be hopeful. Be faithful. Those are what immediately came to mind even in the midst of the hell that is cancer. The living of the story is the purpose.
No post for 5/26/20