And the theme of March will be grace. Grace upon grace.
grace [ greys ]
noun.
A moral strength.
I spent my whole evening WITH my girls. Volleyball practice, making dinner together, math homework, recommendation letters for captainship for volleyball teams, laughing… I’m exhausted but for all the right reasons.
And as it should be.
*Post 1074
It’s Crossroads Time :: 3/11/18 :: Post 187
This weekend brought more volleyball.
Colorado Crossroads is my heaven on earth. 6 full days of some of the most impressive volleyball from 12-18 year olds, 1460 teams from all over the country, 200 courts all going at once, 1000’s of athletes, coaches and spectators, volleyballs everywhere, whistles, college recruiters, vendors, t-shirts (I have one from almost every year since I played 18+ years ago)….. It is amazing.
And the icing on the cake: watching my kid play in the same tournament and making memories in the same tournament that I did so many years ago.
She’s impressive…a 6’1″ eighth grader who plays every position but one and plays them all well…that’s hard to do at a high level because her growing brain and growing body have to keep up with a fast game and constant position switching.
Wow.
The other highlight from today, I got to help coach for the day and I surprised myself by being able to play a little and run some of the drills for warm up, too.
My back hurts, my feet are screaming, my muscles are sore…but my heart is happy.
Back to the difficult reality of cancer treatment tomorrow….but the escape to a world of nothing but volleyball and fun and memories was thoroughly soul-filling.
Triggers A Plenty :: 3/11/19 :: Post 545
I was super grumpy this morning. So edgy and irritable….
Chris asked me why.
It was a bad hair day. And a bad outfit day.
And bad hair and outfit days now are not simply bad hair and outfit days anymore…..
Courage is a Heart Word :: 3/11/20 :: Post 852
Brene Brown wrote this about courage: “Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is ‘cor’ – the Latin word for heart. In one of it’s earliest forms, the word courage meant, “To speak one’s mine by telling all one’s heart.”
I appreciate this quote because it connects courage with vulnerability. And vulnerability is hard. It’s exposure. It’s pain. It’s triumph. It’s heart.
This is how I have navigated cancer throughout treatment and now, moment by moment, in this place of survivorship. Vulnerable. Raw. Honest. And I’m so grateful for that. I’m grateful that I have chosen to experience this to it’s fullest, even when it has been dreadfully hard. I’m also grateful that I haven’t been alone in this. The people…all of the people. My closest. My dearest. My husband. Daughters. Mom and Dad. My family. All of those medical people who have had my life in their hands. All of those friends that have prayed for us. All of the people that have shown up in ways that I’ll never know. I’m grateful for community and support and love. And I’m grateful that my faith has deepened and not weakened.
I’m grateful for the transformation. I will never be the same and while that is incredibly difficult to accept, it is incredibly rich with opportunity.