And the theme of March will be grace. Grace upon grace.
grace [ greys ]
noun.
A pleasing or attractive quality; a manifestation of favor; moral strength.
This word came up a few times today. I saw it on a fellow life coach’s insta this morning, this evening I utilized it with one of my athletes at practice and then I decided to use it for myself just now. It’s such an empowering skill to be able to reframe a thought that isn’t quite working into something that can. Did you notice that I didn’t say, “turn a negative into a positive”?? I did that on purpose. Yes, that is sometimes what a reframe is…taking the negative tone and connotation out of a phrase and changing it to a positive and expectant one is key to reframing. But the words I chose above were also specifically chosen – “to reframe what isn’t working into something that can.”
Reframing goes beyond the simple -/+. So often it gets boiled down to that but when it does, its power is severely diminished. Instead, reframing occurs when a change is chosen, when a concept is reconfigured, when a desire is reworked, when a mindset is challenged, when an expectation is reformatted. What reframing isn’t is ignoring the reality. There will likely still be trepidation or fear or difficulty. High expectations will likely still have to be met which means the pressure to do so will still exist. Factors will likely still remain that impact our behaviors, thoughts, actions and decisions. Reframing isn’t excuses. Reframing isn’t platitudes.
Reframing is a practice but it is not perfection. It’s something to work on and hone. Sometimes we’ll get it right, sometimes we won’t and other times we will choose not to reframe at all. But to know its power, to trust its impact, to keep practicing it…that’s where valuable change can begin.
Tonight, I’m reframing my pain from ‘Ugh, this volleyball season is going to be so hard,’ to ‘I’m grateful for boundaries so I can rest.’
What about you?
*Post 1073
No Post for 3/10/18
What a Big Question :: 3/10/19 :: Post 544
Defining a life that is lived with purpose is an interesting endeavor.
Having a reason to get up in the morning… Living for a purpose helps in decision-making… Choosing to live intentionally means being here matters…
I wrote a couple of nights ago that living with purpose is exhausting. And it is. Because everything has to mean something (even if that something is nothing on occasion). During the intense kill-cancer treatment, the purpose was so obvious…like, DUH, obvious: to live.
But the weird thing about survivorship is that it feels like a free-fall into nothing and the nothing can become everything. I know, I know…that doesn’t seem to make a whole lot of sense…but there is something there. Maybe it’s like this: Everything had purpose because that was the only way it could be survived, but now that it was survived, it can start to feel like nothing has purpose. If the sole focus was to survive and there wasn’t any talk of what’s after surviving, it’s no wonder I feel like I’m free falling into nothingness.
What does it mean to survive cancer? How does it look to live out this transformation? How do I walk out everything that I learned during the intensity of surviving when the intensity of surviving is finished, completed, accomplished Ah, maybe THIS is the question I’m trying to get at: How do I make cancer matter when it’s no longer a survival-issue?
I was sitting in church this morning and I was half-listening to the pastor. I found the other half of me considering my story. “You have cancer.” Remembering when I was bald. Shaking my head at the sheer devastation that chemo caused my body – so much so that it killed my hair. Astounded at where I’ve walked, what I’ve seen, the hell I’ve lived. Awed that I’ve had body parts amputated off of me and taken out of me. All for the sake of living.
What do I want this side of cancer to look like? We worked so hard to keep me alive, so now what? Maybe that’s why survivorship feels so intangible….so big…so overwhelming….so free-fall-ish? Maybe it’s why I am so desperate to have this side of cancer LOOK and BE different. Because I am EVERYTHING different. How do I want to live out my survival of cancer? That’s a big question.
No Post for 3/10/20