Tonight, I’m living changed in that I really want to spend the time and brain capacity to write and write well. But I’m tired. So I’m going to take the night off…even though I really don’t want to.

*Post 1052

So Much More :: 2/16/18 :: Post 167

Today had a lot of laughs. Which was needed to end this tough week. 

And then I get to be up in Greeley with my Catelyn for a volleyball tournament this weekend. 

In any normal year, a 3-day volleyball tournament would be fun. This year it is so much more.

1. I get to be here. It’s a simple statement with many significant meanings. 

2. I have the energy to be here. That wouldn’t have been the case a month ago……I am in a hotel bed with my kid on a day that if I were still having to get the 5-drug chemo, I’d be stuck in my own barely surviving the drugscoursing through my veins. But that’s behind me now. And that feels good. 

3. I am able to engage in the life of my family differently because I’m not just trying to survive. While I have much ahead, it’s not where I’ve been. 

In order to have the capacity to be present for the rest of the weekend, bedtime is necessary. Plus I’m nauseous tonight….and that kinda sucks 🙁 

EFF Cancer :: 2/16/19 :: Post 522

I miss playing volleyball.

Cancer took that from me too. 

Effing cancer.