Today I was challenged to push through. Minute by minute. Since I worked from home today, the social input wasn’t a factor so my emotional output was at an all-time high. It’s been awhile where I just break down and cry, randomly and without warning. Uncertain of the triggers but unnecessary to call them out. Yet I still needed to be productive. So, I pushed through….all the way till the very end of a physically (and emotionally) taxing volleyball practice.

Bed. Now.

Today I…
Sunday: Learned
Monday: Chose; said yes/no to
Tuesday: Loved
Wednesday: Prayed
Thursday: Was challenged by/to 
Friday: Am grateful for 
Saturday: Saw grace in

*Post 1033

Let it Be :: 1/28/18 :: Post 150

One day closer….

I’m feeling better than I was earlier in the week….. My appetite is pretty good and I’ve been able to keep food and water down yesterday and today…… I was able to get out of bed for a bit today….. 

But I’m not past round 6 just yet. I still have some unknowns ahead. Tomorrow could be great. It could suck. Tuesday could be my bad day, just like in round 5. Or maybe Wednesday this time. Or maybe I won’t have a bad day at all…. 

I find myself preoccupied with fear of what’s ahead. 

New routines. New normals. New adjustments. 

More appointments. More new medical professionals to entrust my life to. More medical procedures to experience. 

I’m grateful this chemo sub-chapter is only a few days from being behind me, and that feels hugely hopeful….yet the permanence of cancer continues to preoccupy my mind. 

I guess I’ll just sit with that and let it be.

The Waters Surge :: 1/28/19 :: Post 503

I’m saying ‘uncle’…

I’m shouting ‘mercy’…

I’m waving my white flag…

I’m tagging out…

My heart is tired.

Lord, you’ve required much. 

By Your grace we will walk through another day. 

(No post for 1/28/20)