So, I posted a video in my Wednesday Wisdom series on YouTube yesterday (subscribe!😉) that I wanted to actually put in written form in my blog in the event people would rather read than listen. It is relevant to today and may encourage some as they step into the newness of a-  whole  -‘nother year. (There is more here than in my 5-minute video, FYI.)

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F U N K Y

Since I so deeply value authenticity, I’m gonna be real honest and say that I get FUNKY when it’s New Year’s time. The transition from old year to new year always feels really difficult for me. I feel uncomfortable. Edgy. Tight. Overwhelmed. Yes, I can logically appreciate the sentiment of the “clean slate of a new year” but that is where it stays – in my logical self – holding a very small amount of weight. Beyond that, I don’t find it motivating to make new resolutions or create a new vision board or pick a word that I want to use to define the entire next year. Those might work for others, but they DO NOT work for me. Maybe I’m skeptical or maybe it’s because I have this innate impulse to counter anything culturally constructed. More, though, I think it is because these things require a long view and I live short-sighted – both a chosen perspective and one that is forced because, as it turns out, cancer has a funny way of screwing up the ability to look long into the future… 

Anyways… My Point

In general, I think we tend to live so far out in Front because we struggle to be comfortable in Now. I’ve had quite the vantage point throughout these last 4 years, as my life stopped as I knew it, as it’s started over foreign and undiscovered, as I’ve self-reflected along the way, as I’ve observed others from my now alternate, upside-down, Alice-in-Wonderland-esque life… And here’s what I see: 

Primarily – I think it’s about control. If we can control what our days and months and years look like, chaos can’t touch us. But if we let things unfold as they unfold…well, there’s no control in that.

And what’s more – We are so conditioned to be uncomfortable in the Now because we are always told to strive Ahead. To manifest what we want to Become. To set the 5- and 10-year goals. We’re admonished when we choose Slow, people (both literally and figuratively) swerve on by with their exasperated looks of judgement. And we’re encouraged to remove anything (people, relationships, things, experiences) in our paths that will slow us down, get in our way, cause us to misstep…. (even though, I wonder…….would such a detour really count as a misstep🤔.) All of this implies that right Here, right Now, right Where Our Feet Are, is just not where you want to be. Get out. Move on. Don’t get Comfortable. Because Comfortable is lazy and complacent.

So, culture has no room for those that live in Now. They get passed up. They are too slow. Success is measured far more by width, distance, height because depth takes too long and is too distracting. Therefore, “I can’t wait until __________” or “I’ll be happy when ___________” or “If only I could fast-forward to __________” colors our conversations because who wants to get passed up? Who wants someone else to get the job or marry the soul mate because they were too slow and someone else got there first? Who wants to get the look of impatience when a conversation doesn’t end quick enough so the other person can move on from that distracting moment? Who wants to have others assume they’ve settled because everyone knows that when you go slow, you settle…right?! 

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It’s no wonder we battle mental health wellness! We’re told Contentment is the epitome of wellbeing but yet conditioned to always be in Want…want of What’s To Come, want of What’s More, want of Where We’re Headed…

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On That Note…

Culture of Then, fine, PASS.ME.UP. 100% swerve by me. As the countdown to 2022 turns into hours rather than days, I’m not gonna buy in to the rat race of New Year’s cliches. I’m not gonna plan a whole year before it’s even begun. Instead . . . . I’m gonna live changed because of cancer’s lesson. I’m gonna continue my counter-cultural way of living and just see what happens as it happens. I’m gonna work out my trust-muscle in the “chaos” of Not-Knowing. I’m gonna show up each day and do my best with what I have and what I know. I’m gonna keep learning about Contentment Here and not in some far-off Then. I find it’s far easier to manage expectations Here. 

Anyone wanna join me?

Let me close by saying that I’m not discouraging anyone who enjoys planning for a whole new year or visioning what could be. Those can be really great skills and I believe in their potential. And for those that do the 3-, 5-, 10-year plans, I’m simply a life coach who likes to offer the counter-cultural route as well and who likes to challenge us to consider a different, more short-sighted view of life. Still – Happy New Year. May January 1^st be an amazing day all on its own. As well as the rest of this December 30^th and all of December 31^st. 

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#cancerteachesmethings #cancer #breastcancer #lifecoach #cancercoach #thepurposedsailor #happynewyear2022 #livechanged #countercultural #mentalhealth #dontliveincountdowns

PS. Here is a link to my YouTube channel so you can subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqY39fMyNw6LGVcbNR8Dp6g

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