Today I am overwhelmed by all of the emotions. It’s August.

I just don’t have the ability to put words together to make any sense tonight. . .

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This Day in 2018:

August.

It’s August 1st. 

That means something to me today that is far deeper and more emotional than ever before. 

August has always been an interesting month…a lot of transition occurs, new routines, new school years, new teachers, new teams, new schedules, new challenges… etc, etc.

August has always felt “full”…

This year, August will hold all of that and much more. 

THIS August…

…My baby turns 16. What!?

…I’ll have a kid driving. By herself. On the roads. Without her parents. In a car. Independent. 

…I’ll have two kids headed off to high school. And together in the car that the 16 year old will be driving. Independent of us parents. 

…A ten-year-old starting her last year of elementary school. And all by herself at the elementary/middle school campus. 

…And I’ll also have many year anniversaries hit me in the coming weeks. All while preparing for another surgery…adding yet another new hard to a month that holds so much already. 

“This time last year………” is usually the beginning of an intensely meaningful sentence.

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This Day in 2019:

The Good with the Bad

I’m feeling emotional today….totally funky…I’m preoccupied, I’m prickly, I’m in pain, I’m not feeling well…

It’s just a reminder that cancer is still my companion. I can escape from the normal day-to-day, I can escape from the stress and the exhaustion. I can remove myself from the place where cancer first hit. But I can’t remove myself from cancer. I can’t escape its companionship.

But there is a part of me that is glad for that. If it’s always my companion, I will always have the reminder of living full. Of filling each moment as heavy as I can with richness. Of making sure to remember the perspective and the transformation that it has offered. 

So I’ll take the bad with the good.

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No Post for 8/1/20

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