“Sometimes it is about remembering your ‘why.’ Other times it’s about redefining it.”
@ThePurposedSailor
I think so often we get going so fast that we lose track of why we do what we do—the faster we get, the further away we get. The more ‘set in our ways’ we are, the less creative we can be. The deeper the desire for control we have, the shallower our experiences become. Asking ourselves “WHY” is hard because it requires us to stop. And we often fear the stop. And when we fear something, we tend to avoid it…….if we can help it, that is.
August 25, 2017 was my stop. I couldn’t avoid it. It slammed into me, HARD, halting everything I knew to be true, showing me just how fuzzy my ‘whys’ had become. And here, e v e r y d a y since that dreadful phone call and because of the pain infused in e v e r y step I now take, my ‘whys’ have never been clearer. Each day I stop. Each day I remember. Each day I evaluate. No longer afraid and for that, I am grateful.
What if today, you stopped?
This Day in 2018:
This war sucks.
All of the paper tape is off of my incisions….and the glue and stitches are also gone…
I know it’s all a work in progress but ……….
UGH. The scars are ugly.
This war on my body sucks.
This Day in 2019:
All The Things…
Court-side at a doubles volleyball tournament watching my kid play – awesome.
Seeing sweet friends and spending the day with my family – awesome.
Cold Stone coffee and salted caramel ice cream with chocolate chips – awesome.
Driving through a massive thunderstorm – awesome.
Date night with my best at the place my other kid works and seeing her in action – awesome.
Enjoying my Saturday without studying – awesome.
Making plans for our vacation and getting excited that we’re almost there – awesome.
🙂
It’s a good thing I have all of this to smile about… I got teary eyed on our way home because I hurt from head to toe and every hot flash I get comes with a lasting-way-too-long-for-my-liking wave of intense nausea.
I don’t have much relief from the hell that is cancer, but I’m grateful for all the things that make fighting worth it.
No post for 7/20/20