In light of yesterday’s conversation between Alice and the Cat:
Time is a strange phenomenon, one that is difficult to understand or explain… It is something we are constantly encouraged not to squander but in it we’re also consistently pressured to hurry. We shouldn’t consume it by just one thing but we shouldn’t cheat it by just one thing, either. We’re taught that managing it is a vital life skill. And that that skill will either make us or break us. …But because it’s just so confusing and overwhelming, we don’t tend to take the time to ‘get’ it. Well, because I live in upside-down land (at first I was forced here, now I find I like it here), I’ve been given the time to ‘get’ it (some of it, anyways). In this place, in the weird and in the wacky, Time has shown itself to me to be many things:
…It can feel torturously slow. Or inconsiderately fast.
…I can totally lose track of it. Or I can totally get lost in it.
…It marches on even if I don’t. BUT, I also have quite a bit more control over its pace than I once realized.
…It can be a great healer. It can be a voice of reason. It can be an obnoxious nag.
…It is a constant in chaos. A common denominator in all circumstances. And it is a great equalizer.
…It can feel like Time is my friend. It can also feel like a foe.
…It is spent. It can be invested. It can be wasted. Each is chosen. Each is determined by perspective.
What do you know about time from your land?
Down Then Up Then Down :: May 16, 2018
Tough start to the day…I cried on the way to work….I hold so much….. Work was great today, though. Spent time with some wonderful people, was super productive, and had moments of joy and laughter. Then I came home to happy people and heard from my Cate who is having so much fun on her trip….all of this does my soul good. And my momma and I are leaving tonight for Florida to visit our family out there. So excited for our momma/daughter time!! But now I lay here feeling pretty awful and that sucks….hoping and praying that that goes away before I gotta get on a plane.
Stupid cancer.
Joy :: May 16, 2019
Ugh. And just like that, today was the opposite of yesterday. I felt awful throughout most of the day and the brain fog is so debilitating sometimes. But I got some encouragement from a friend today that I am going to be extra intentional about doing — every day I’m going to recognize what brings me joy. I’m good at being grateful for things, but this feels different for me…
Today, joy was spending time with my Annie while we ate delicious Panera and talked. Everyone else was gone so it was just the two of us. The food was yummy, the conversation was sweet. Joy.
Consider the Comfort Zone :: May 16, 2020
I’ve noticed something – when I talk about the reality that everything is temporary, people tend to get quiet and many don’t engage in the conversation. I think the phrase makes people feel frustrated or stuck or maybe hopeless. Those words might even elicit feelings of anger. Some might *shoulder shrug with a ‘Why bother caring about anything, then, if everything is temporary?’ Or they could think of it as ‘a glass half empty’ attitude. Some will possibly even go as far to say that it’s fatalistic.
I know there are times where I struggle with the reality because I wish things could last longer than just moments. That time between the anticipation of something and it turning into a memory is SO VERY short… A delicious dessert. A milestone in life. An epic vacation. Gosh how I wish those things could last longer than a fleeting moment but because they turn into such beautiful memories, their temporary-ness is *slightly* easier to accept.
But consider the comfort zone. The controllable routine. The prescribed next step in a series of steps to get to an end goal… The temporary nature of the predictable is a little bit (or probably more accurately ‘significantly’) more difficult to accept. We work so hard to be comfortable, right? And then we plan our routines and our progress to gain even more comfortability, right? And each of those steps require effort and work and passion and dedication and commitment…all for the end goal of the comfort zone – where we *think* we are the best versions of ourselves. But are we really our best versions of ourselves when we are all settled and snuggled into our comfort zones?
Today my husband woke us all up at 5am so that we could go fishing on a lake that was a little under 2 hours away. While this is his routine, it is SO not ours and waking up that early after staying up way too late and not sleeping well made for some grumpy pre-teen/teenager/grown woman companions. *yikes. Mind you, Chris checked the weather last night and it looked to be a fabulous fishing forecast to plan such an excursion (knowing full well the women in his life need the most ideal fishing conditions to enjoy themselves and not ask “when are we leaving” every 5 minutes). We launch the boat and pile in, a slight morning chill in the air but certainly manageable and we settle in for a nice calm morning on the water; phones and snacks close by to grab once we got bored. But as nature would have it, 20-25 mile per hour gusts changed our experience. Big time. It was cold, windy and the boat rocked so much that even hours later, I’m still feeling the waves.
The reason I tell that story is because what ended up happening is that we had the most fun. We would stand up to reel in a fish and almost fall in as a gust blew through, laughing then as we regained our balance and Chris netted our fish, then holding up our catch proudly to capture the victory while the dog got his nose in on smelling every one of them. We didn’t play on our phones because we would have gotten seasick. We each reeled in several fish because we weren’t wasting the moments on our phones. And we didn’t rush out of there because despite the uncomfortable and unpredictable weather, we were catching fish and having far more fun than if it had been calm and typical. The best versions of ourselves ended up showing up in the most unfavorable conditions.
I think this is where the crux lies. We sometimes cling so tightly to the [seemingly] predictable because it gives us a false sense of permanence (and therefore it seems our purpose is easier to pinpoint). It’s harder to trust we have a purpose when we have to consistently adapt to the non-permanence, the temporary of life. By accepting the temporary, the bests of ourselves have an opportunity to show up.