Expectations is my word for the day. I’ve written about this before so pardon the redundancy, but my day today, from the moment I woke up (from awful sleep, by the way) to the almost-going-to-bed has been influenced by this word. 

I feel like we’d all be offended less if we managed our expectations accurately. 
I feel like we’d all be less defensive and ready for a fight if we managed our expectations accurately.
I feel like we’d all not be so over-sensitive if we managed out expectations accurately.

I feel like we’d be more emotionally healthy. Spiritually healthy. Physically healthy. Psychologically healthy. Financially healthy. Relationally healthy. Empathetically healthy. . .
If we managed our expectations accurately.

I’m learning that when I am my most edgy or discontent, insecure or antsy it’s time for me to reevaluate my expectations. 
Guess what I find………
I’m usually quite off.
And as soon as I recalibrate, I instantly feel more balanced.

It’s time to recalibrate. Big time. Make a lemon a lemon…

(And I have no idea why my brain picked “lemon”) 🙂

*Post 1045

Bring It On :: 2/9/18 :: Post 160

Boy am I glad it’s Friday. 

It’s been a long week. Ups and downs. Good and bad. Easy and tough. 

But what rings loudest tonight as I wrap up the week is that chemo is upon me again…Monday it is. But this time it won’t take me out for a whole week. It won’t make me feel like death for 12 days, sun up to sun down and all through the middle of the night. It won’t put me back in the place of poison coursing through my veins and wreaking havoc on my body, heart, soul and mind. 

Instead I’ll just get to keep feeling better. I’ll get to keep tasting food. I’ll get to start growing my hair back. I’ll get to eat normally and drink normally. I’ll get to attend kids’ events and be present in life. I’ll get to go to work and not get so far behind in responsibilities. I’ll get to keep getting stronger. 

I have much ahead. But I have much behind me. And that feels so good tonight. 

And we watched the Olympic Opening Ceremonies and that was fun. It was sweeter this year knowing that I anticipated this day because I knew it meant something bigger. And something significant. It meant I would have one of life’s hardest things behind me. Truly behind me. 

This all gives me hope for the difficult days ahead. I have survived and endured much. As has my family. 

On to the next battle…… Bring it on, radiation. 

Up :: 2/9/19 :: Post 515

I got tired of wearing my wedding ring on a chain around my neck and finally gave in to get it resized today. 

I had to go up in size. 
*eyeroll

In the current state I’m in and in light of all I have had to struggle through, this felt so defeating. 

I need fat to make boobs. I need to make boobs because cancer took them. 

I could have chosen a different path….but I didn’t. And how will I ever know if what I’ve chosen is the best choice? 

I’m grateful I have options to remove the cancer and options to rebuild what was lost, but man the process is grueling. 

(No Post for 2/9/20)