Today I saw grace in giving my body a day of rest. The last few weeks of December are always so full of amazing fun but I tire so easily … and not my old kind of tired where I could simply push through it. Today I slept in. I moved slow. I baked with my kiddo. I sat with her and talked with her. And now I’m writing. And then I’ll read to close out my day. Grace in rest…Lovely.

I also found grace in another survivor’s perspective on survivorship. And another’s who’d commented. And another’s. They are 10, 5 and 3 years post treatment and struggling. While most could find this hopeless, I found such comfort in knowing that struggling in survivorship is not a solo experience, nor is it defined by time. They listed so many of the same symptoms and feelings, thoughts and triggers, highs and joys, what they were grateful for and what they were learning. And each of them, like myself, describe it as lonely… Yet, the grace present in the common ground makes it not so much.

What did you see grace in today?

Today I…
Sunday: Learned. 
Monday: Chose; said yes/no to. 
Tuesday: Loved. 
Wednesday: Prayed. 
Thursday: Was challenged by/to. 
Friday: Am grateful for. 
Saturday: Saw grace in

 *Post 1007

Round 5 is Coming :: 1/2/18 :: Post 125

Round 5 is tomorrow. Blech. 

I’m emotional taking my pre-chemo meds. I’m emotional at the thought of another round starting. I’m emotional because I have a whole crap-ton of days ahead of me that will be awful. I’m emotional because the past two days have been so good…as close to normal as I’ve been so far…and tomorrow I go back to the hell that is chemo. I’m emotional because my eyebrows are thinning already. I’m emotional because I have more hard transitions ahead. 

Here we go.

Oh Wow :: 1/2/19 :: Post 477

A colleague took one look at me today and said, “oh wow, you ok?” 

They know me well enough to see the weariness in my eyes. They know me well enough to know that the pain is taking its toll. 

We talked for a bit. I told them all that was weighing me down. And we concluded that keeping composure is getting harder and harder to do. 

No Post for 1/2/20