Say it. See it. Hear it. Feel it. Out loud. 
Over and over again. 

*Post 979

The Light of Bravery :: 12/5/17 :: Post 99

Two days in a row that I’ve worked all day and then had evening plans. Yesterday I went to a Advent event with my sister in law…tonight, my Annie’s Christmas Concert (where she had the only solo of the night). 

I’m beyond tired. I don’t have the stamina and capacity for what I used to. I’m learning so much about limitations…margin…boundaries…priorities…

I’m grateful for feeling well so that there was no question about me going to Annie’s concert. She was amazing. I’m so proud and in awe of her. She’s so shy she hardly can look adults in the eye and yet she had the courage to try out with 14 other brave classmates for the only solo for the program. And got it. Eeek! This momma was so nervous. 

And she showed up. And she sang. Beautifully. And her light was bravely bright. 

I’m equally proud of the Bigs. They celebrated Annie’s courage and spoke such life and greatness into her over the past few weeks and tonight. That is so “others focused” and lovely to see from a couple of teenagers. 🙂

While I’m beyond tired, my heart is full. Thank you, Lord.

Persistent :: 12/5/18 :: Post 451

persistent

I’ve been sitting here for 30 minutes staring at my screen unsure of what to write, where to start, how I feel.
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My nerves are frayed. My family’s are, too. Tensions are high, wits are beyond their ends, the constant expectation to wake up and show up in the midst of everything being hard is getting tiresome. And the hard remains persistent. 
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I guess I’ll try again tomorrow to put this experience into words. For tonight, I’ll just accept the fact that I can’t and let that be a part of this experience, too.

Recon #37 (actually 8) :: 12/5/19

I didn’t write on December 5 of last year because I had had reconstructive surgery number eight that day and I remember not feeling well at all.