Happy Birthday, Mom. I’m so very grateful for you. Your resilience and grit. Your fortitude and sass. Your discernment and wisdom. Your kindness and faith. You love like literally no one else I know….fiercely and selflessly. Your incredible capacity to forgive and show grace, to have patience even when it’s run out and to put your own needs on the back burner to meet the needs of another is truly astounding. You are beautifully creative and you share that gift with others at not just 100% but at an unmatchable excellence. And that unmatched excellence is accompanied by an unmatched generosity. We ask for 3 bananas, we get 9. We ask for a loaf of bread, we get 3. Max doesn’t get one bag of treats, he gets 4. You have made our Birthdays and our Christmases and our Easters and our First Days of Schools and our Graduations and our Anniversaries incredibly special because you SEE us and you KNOW us. And for the days in between all of those, you stop by with a hug, a smile, a funny story, a silly antic and best of all, your genuine self. You swing by and take a kid out for a GmaC day date and you’re my best shopping and lunch buddy on this entire planet…wandering the aisles, trying to talk and share stories yet stay focused on the lists of things we need having to “re-return” to the store later because something was forgotten amidst the conversations and giggles aplenty. And the way you have walked with me in this horrendous cancer-altering story is nothing short of remarkable. Your consistent presence on the hardest days and on the ones that aren’t so hard, you’re here with me. Choosing to walk it, not run from it. Choosing to be a part of it even when it’s hard. Choosing to engage in what I can only imagine to totally and completely suck to see your daughter going through stage 3 cancer instead of finding excuses not to be involved. Truly remarkable. And a blessing that I can never fully put into adequate words. Nor repay. And that’s the thing, Mom. You do all of this with no expectation of it being repaid. You don’t give to receive. You simply give. Of yourself. ALL. OF. THE. TIME.
One of the little cards I wrote in your “Count Your Many Blessings, Name Them One by One” honeypot gift simply says, “You SHOW up.” In everything I just wrote, you show up. In the in-between of all of those things, you show up. You show up for so many people in your life – for your sisters, for your nieces and nephews, for your friends, for your church, for people you know need something even if creates a hardship for you, for your convictions, for your faith. For your son-in-law. For your granddaughters. For your husband. For me. Three simple words. Vast depth of meaning.
Happy Birthday, Momma. The legacy of your life is powerful. And the both+and of today – I am grateful that I get to call you Mom and that I get to call you Best Friend.
*Post 969
Dog Days :: 11/28/17 :: Post 92
Sometimes there’s just not much to write…I kind of feel like I’m in “the dog days” of this journey. Or maybe it’s more like I feel stuck out in the middle of a desert….disoriented to time and space.
In that, here’s what I’ve got for today:
Day 9 was pretty good. No nausea. A little heartburn but not too bad. My husband has made me laugh tonight. A lot. The fatigue is so extreme…I barely have enough to get through the day. The sheer amount of work my body is doing is astounding. And it’s my momma’s birthday and I can’t even celebrate with her because I’m so tired. I love you, Mom. Thank you for WHO you are.
Ever-So-Close :: 11/28/18 :: Post 441
Tomorrow we move. What a drama-filled, crazy-making, patience-trying ordeal. We are all frayed around the edges. We are tired and weary and purely exhausted. We are also deeply grateful we are finally here. And so excited.
Tonight we hold hope close to our souls as we still need to cross the ever-so-close-but-not-yet-crossed finish line of signing the closing documents. And so far, it’s been an elusive finish line with so many different things getting in the way. Lord, that we would finish this race.
Mom, Happy Birthday. Thank you and Dad for letting us crash your house during this months-long ordeal. Your selflessness has literally no bounds. I am amazed by you.
Gratitude Month Day 28 :: 11/28/19 :: Post 804
I was in the dog days of chemo 2 years ago. I remember feeling like I was never going to cross that finish line…5 minutes at a time was hard enough, let alone weeks and months left of cancer-killing poison being infused into my bloodstream.
Last year it was the night before we moved and I remember how painfully arduous that whole process was. It was highly stressful and so emotionally trying. And we were so desperate to get out of that house…
This year, Gratitude Month Day 28 – I’m grateful I’m alive to see another Thanksgiving. While death doesn’t scare me and heaven will always be welcomed, I love spending my days with my people. I’m so grateful for a day with my crazy fun family…the food, the games, the laughter, the hugs…the memories. And there is more to come tomorrow with another family Thanksgiving. Even though I am laying here hurting and exhausted and frustrated, my heart overflows with gratitude.
And the icing on the cake of today – It is also my momma’s birthday. There are so few words that capture the true nature of my momma. Mom, your generosity of love, time, effort, creativity, thoughtfulness, care, concern and joy is absolutely beautiful…You give of yourself so sacrificially and it truly is astounding. You are an incredible grandmother – so so good to your girls and Max. You are an incredible wife – so so good to your husband. You are an incredible sister – so so good to your sisters. You are an incredible Aunt – so so good to your nieces and nephews. You are an incredible mother in law – so so good to your son in law. You are an incredible friend – so so good to ALL of us. My life is undoubtedly better for knowing you…but especially because I get to call you Mom. Happy Birthday, BESTEST MOMMA EVER. I am so grateful for you, beyond what words can actually describe. You are a treasured gift.